Women Celebrating Women

Celebrate the Small Things

Celebrations normally flow from a place of gratefulness when there are so many things to complain about, and to be distressed about so the effort to be grateful must be intentional.  

We serve God by serving others, so we must be diligent in supporting and encouraging each other in every aspect of life. It is easy to give in to the trials and upsets of life when our lives are void of encouragement, therefore, we must be deliberate about celebrating one another. Discouragement is the breeding ground for seeds of ungratefulness and ungratefulness breeds bitterness  then resentment and jealousy towards others. Expressing love and gratefulness for one another  would generate the desire to celebrate one another honestly  and joyfully.

Romans chapter 12:9a, 14-16 MSG "Love from the centre of who you are, don't fake it... Bless your enemies; no cursing under your breath. Laugh with your happy friends when they’re happy; share tears when they’re down. Get along with each other; don’t be stuck-up. Make friends with nobodies; don’t be the great somebody." 

Wow! how tempting it can be in wanting everyone’s focus and attention to be on ourselves all the time for some reason or another.  Then there are the few of us who would just wish we could walk around being invisible and it takes  someone who has the characteristics of Romans 12:9, 14-16 to ensure that the spotlight gets turned on others accordingly.  It is okay to share the spotlight every once in a while.   As Christians we can get caught up in the piety of being in the background always but then we grumble and complain when we are overlooked.  

Maybe for a moment that’s how Martha felt. There are two ways Martha’s response can be interpreted- Martha had the gift of hospitality so she operated in that capacity whenever the occasion presented itself; Mary on the other hand only wanted one thing, that was to sit at the feet of Jesus .  It was at Jesus’ feet she found life transformation. Martha began to feel left out, she loved helping and serving others, but she was not in the spotlight of things.                            

Luke 10:38-40 MSG “…, Jesus entered a village.  A woman by the name of Martha welcomed him and made him feel quite at home.  She had a sister, Mary, who sat before the Master, hanging on every word he said.  But Martha was pulled away by all she had to do in the kitchen.  Later, she stepped in, interrupting them. “Master, don’t you care that my sister has abandoned the kitchen to me? Tell her to lend me a hand.” ^41-42 The Master said, “Martha, dear Martha, you’re fussing far too much and getting yourself worked up over nothing.  One thing only is essential, and Mary has chosen it-it’s the main course, and won’t be taken from her.”

Not until Jesus explained it to Martha, that she sees the value in what Mary desired, she complained and wanted to discredit it. When we learn to see the value in ourselves, our gifts and qualities we will begin to shine and celebrate what God has placed inside of us and then those around us will see that light and celebrate (shame on those who try to put it out). When we can see beyond our own insecurities, realise and appreciate our value then we will be more forthcoming about celebrating others.  

If we serve in love, then celebrating one another should come easy to us, it generates encouragement. To celebrate does not necessarily have to be a great gathering of sorts, but acknowledging in word or conversation, affirming and congratulating or even seeking them out to share with others that special talent or quality.  

Some of us find it hard to celebrate another's accomplishments, talents and giftedness - Kudos to those who find joy in celebrating another, what you give from the abundance of your heart it will come back to you.   Luke 6:37,38 MSG - "Don't pick on people, jump on their failures, criticise their faults-unless of course, you want the same treatment.  Don't condemn those who are down; that hardness can boomerang. Be easy on people; you'll find life a lot easier. Give away your life; you'll find life given back, but not merely given back, but not merely_given back -given back with bonus and blessing.  Giving, not getting, is the way. Generosity begets generosity."  

By virtue, we as women are prime multitaskers and  excel at various skills and abilities so there is always an opportunity to celebrate one another.

Celebrate each other's life successes, victories even milestones

We should be quick to build each other up instead of tearing down. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 MSG "…So speak encouraging words to one another. Build up hope so you’ll all be together in this, no one left out, no one left behind. I know you’re already doing this; just keep on doing it."  So, when something good happens talk about it, let that be the subject of our conversations, find something good to say. 

Growing up my mom would say "keep your mouth shut if you can't find anything good to say”, that's what I am saying now. Be generous with your compliments - congratulate the promotion, the engagement, the achievement; compliment the new hairdo, the gorgeous shoes or the new dress or hat. If you like it then say so, if you heard something good has happened or is happening in a sister's life, talk about it; acknowledge it.  1 Thess. 5: ^13a “…Get along among yourselves, each of you doing your part,”

Individually, we all must recognise the value of our own successes and victories 

Sadly, sometimes we are selfish without even recognising it and kill the opportunity to celebrate each other. There are times when we hinder our own celebratory moments because of selfishness. We want to keep all that goodness to ourselves; a selfish attitude will stop our blessings. So, do not hide it, let us celebrate it. If we do not acknowledge all the goodness in our lives we even miss out on ministering opportunities.  Share the trials and the deliverances, share your story, and celebrate it and all the victories you experience along the way.

Parable of the Lost Coin - Luke 15:8-10 

The Story of the Lost Coin verses 8-10 “...Or imagine a woman who has ten coins and loses one. Won’t she light a lamp and scour the house, looking in every nook and cranny until she finds it? And when she finds it you can be sure she’ll call her friends and neighbours: ‘Celebrate with me! I found my lost coin!’ Count on it—that’s the kind of party God’s angels throw every time one lost soul turns to God.”  Celebrate the return of a wayward child, husband, new job, a deliverance, child's good grades, a new venture, answered prayer etc. Then there are those times when we are privy to some good news about someone that's worth sharing and celebrating, but yield to the temptation to grudgingly withhold the information from others and then there's a missed opportunity to celebrate a sister.   

Sadly, there is a tendency to quickly share the disturbing news, gossip which spreads like a wildfire.   By the grace of God let us resist this temptation.  Romans 12:9,10  ⁹Let love be without dissimulation, Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good. ¹⁰Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another; 

The premise for celebrating each other is LOVE. 

Loving each other allows for a natural and easy flow of being grateful, the desire to celebrate and encourage especially as children of God. The Word of God overflows with the command to love: - 

John 13:34-35 ³⁴ A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. ³⁵By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another. 

John 15:12 This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you. 

John 15:17 These things I command you, that ye love one another. 

Romans 13:8 Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law. 

and one of my favourites

Galatians 5:13 For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another.

Contemplate on Hebrew 10: 23-25 23 Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering; (for he is faithful that promised;) 24 And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: 25 Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching. 

 Connect

This article may have been directed to us as women but in truth everyone is worth celebrating.  Celebrating the people in our lives is so important particularly in fostering goodwill and loving our fellowmen. So, no matter who you are, wherever you may fit in humanity you are worth celebrating.  Parents, siblings, spouses, friends, colleagues you are valuable and the assurance rests in John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.  You cannot get it any better than that.

My heart's desire is to be grateful always, to celebrate the small victories in life always, to love unconditionally. To serve God wholeheartedly, to trust and to extend grace. I love you with the love of God and it is my prayer that we all grow in grace and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. 

 

Prayer: 1 Thessalonians 3:11-13 MSG

May God our Father himself and our Master Jesus clear the road to you! And may the Master pour on the love so it fills your lives and splashes over on everyone around you, just as it does from us to you. May you be infused with strength and purity, filled with confidence in the presence of God our Father when our Master Jesus arrives with all his followers.

 I celebrate you my sisters, much love

Mauricia

 

Perspectives

I believe I have the best nieces and nephews in the world. They are kind and respectful, they are intelligent and independent, outside of them being intelligent they are very intellectual.  I love hanging out with them and having light and meaningful conversations with them.  The best part about it is that, as I say to them always, my conversations, my advice and consuls are no less than what I would have with my own children.  I find that I always take something away from our convos to contemplate on which brings me to the topic of this post. 

Perspective: a mental view of prospect; the interrelation in

which a subject or its parts are mentally viewed or point or view; the capacity to view things in their true relations or relative mportance.

diagram from metro.co.uk

  ~Dictionary

       I was in the kitchen one day naturally I began singing as I moved about and having a good go at it apparently, not loudly but distinctive enough to draw attention to myself. My nephew said surprisingly, “aunty you can sing, you can really sing.” I blushed and was taken aback as I did not realise, I was that audible and responded stuttering, “well I guess so”. My nephew had never heard me sing before and questioned me about it and it opened a door of conversation I had not had in a while. Realising that this was as good a time as ever to address it particularly for myself, I shared my story with them.

A much younger version of myself really did sing and I loved it. Trying not to sound boastful, I was a soloist, a song/worship leader carrying soprano to tenor and sometimes alto.  Being able to sing I believe was an unexpected gift and I embraced it for what it was, ‘a gift from God.’ In my late twenty’s early thirties, I remember discarding this gift from God, because of my distorted perspective at the time.  My perspective became clouded causing disappointment and eventually walking away from a means that God had given me to share his truth and bring comfort to others while honouring him. I loved singing and even wrote a few songs and attempted to set them to music. I even played the keyboard yes, I did, and I read a little music- more about this later.  The truth of my gift became a bit distorted and a ploy by Satan to kill all the potential that was wrapped up in the gift of music.  

Before every performance/ministering session I always prayed asking God to use me and let the message of every song be heard loud and clear.  I enjoyed it but I dreaded the attention it brought to me and I began to dread performances.  The last concert I remember participating in was a great success, largely attended and the audience was engaged and having a grand time. So, what was my problem?  I also took notice that they were praising me a whole lot and that made me uncomfortable and afraid.      

As I shared my reasons with my nephew and niece they listened intently, and this is the wisdom of what they ventured to share with me:     

"Not everyone will react or respond in the same way, and it does not mean you are doing anything wrong.  Some might have been carried away by you and your voice but there were others who were indeed enjoying the message and music.  To some it may have been a performance and to others it was ministry."  

At the time I took away only the negative, but they helped me to see that there were so many positives I could have taken away also. 

When I stopped singing, I was neglecting the God gift within, I was not walking in obedience to the call.  For a long time, I suppressed my voice and declined any opportunity to sing and of course with the dormancy I lost my singing ability.      

My perspective in that case allowed me only to see God as Elohim Qana (Jealous God)- I did not allow for Him to shine through in my life as Jehovah Shammah (God of Righteousness). The awesome thing about God is that no matter how small a box we put Him inside it does not change who He is and what He can do.

To be able to play a musical instrument was always a dream of mine and as a teenager I got that opportunity through my church music department. I was well on my way to achieving my dream to play.  I attended music class at our church and my music teacher was the incomparable Rev. Dr Conrad Howell, at the time he was just Bro. Conrad, or Bro. C.  He is now deceased, and I pause to pay homage to him and his gift of music.  

I was learning the piano and I loved it, I worked hard at it and embraced every opportunity to become good at playing.  I did not have a keyboard at home to practice on, so I devised a plan, and it was working well for a while.  With permission I would go down to the church early enough before each weeknight service and practice on the church’s keyboard. Thankfully for me we had service from Monday to Friday (and practice or Dorcas Club on Saturdays) so that worked out very well for me.  During my private practice sessions sometimes, I would have an audience of one (Bishop James who was Pastor then). He would always encourage me, and he would call out hymns from the hymn book for me to try. One of his favourites was Hand in Hand with Jesus.  This went on for a while, I never told anyone, not even my family. Maybe they figured I was very enthusiastic about going to church, yes, I was but the motivation to get there so early was so that I could put in some practice time. 

I remember winning an award for my diligence in music and Mr. Howell thought I had great potential. Sadly, that came to a halt and I know that he was disappointed in my decision to quit, and so was I.  I made the decision to quit because I was angry and hurt and ashamed all due to the opinion and false accusation of one solitary individual who sought to discourage and kill my sincere efforts.  One fateful day my dad confronted me about a rumour he heard about me using disguise of church attendance and practise to meet up with boys. To say the least he was furious and unhappy and even though I kind of explained myself, my dad of course being who he was, his intention was to keep the peace and avoid any contention, my permission was revoked from the early trek to the church on weeknights and attend when the rest of my family attended to avoid any more discord or hearsay. My practice time was confined to the allotted practice time with the regular music class sessions.  My dad did not say I was not allowed to play or attend the classes anymore, even though that is what I heard at the time because I felt betrayed by the instigator. 

Your perspective will either enlighten you or it will cloud your judgment.  For a while I allowed my perspective to cheat me of fulfilling a call and embracing wonderful gifting.  If your perspective is fuelled by another person’s opinion or lack of insight, you will always miss out on some great advances and opportunities. When you change that functionality, you will then be able to operate with confidence at the fullest potential God has placed within you.  

Not pursuing the art of music is a regret I choose not to linger on, there is still an opportunity to take it up again, and I can report that I lift my crackling voice making a joyful noise to the Lord, and sometimes I do hit the right notes.

  Excerpt from – The Mind  of  Jesus by John MacDuff 1870

How far short we are of such a criterion — our mournful experience can testify. But it is at least comforting to know that there is a day coming, when, in the full vision and fruition of the Glorious Original, the exhortation of our motto-verse will be needed no more; when we shall be able to say, in the words of an inspired apostle — "We have the MIND OF CHRIST!"     

"Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus." (Phil 2:5) "I am meek and lowly in heart." — Matthew 11:29. In great minds, there is often a beautiful blending of majesty and humility, magnanimity and lowliness. The mightiest and holiest of all Beings that ever trod our world — was the meekest of all.    ww.gracegems.org/MacDuff/Mind_of_Jesus.htm

 Read: Philippians 2 NIV - Imitating Christ’s Humility - Bible Gateway

Prayer: Sovereign God, Faithful Father and Friend, thank you for Your forgiveness and love every day.  Help us to grow in You with the mind of Christ walking in obedience to Your word and spreading the light of Your salvation to all. In Jesus name Amen.

 Stay aware and be confident in yourself and your God given abilities and shine.

Love and Blessings

Mauricia

Letting Go

 Letting go has always been an issue for me no matter what that was.

Letting go somehow represented the end of things for me, it represented dismissal. I realised that letting go took away any control I may have over a situation surrounding my life and that did not sit well with me. 

I have held on to things not grudgingly but as validation that something happened, my way of acknowledging it happened particularly if I felt it was overlooked, dismissed, or disregarded as important.

I’ve held on to hurts and disappointments because it helped me to feel, I didn’t want to feel numb and invisible- those feelings reminded me that I was alive, because there were times when I wished I was not or that I never existed.  I have always felt things deeply, emotionally and at times it would seem as if I would be consumed by it so I would figure out how to rein it in and control it.

I have experienced grief in many different forms, and in each of those instances I’ve held onto it controlling it and not wanting to let go of it because I felt if I did I would forget, or that what I was grieving the experiences of  what I had lost would be gone forever.  I have grieved the loss of close friends, relatives and what may seem neurotic to you, parts of my life.  I have held on to it all because I did not want to lose the memories, the experiences I have had with those individuals or those life moments.

Realisations

•  I realise for a long time I was grieving the loss of my career life, even  though the decision to leave the secular work (9 to 5) was  a personal conscious and convicted decision, I was grieving the loss of what that entailed.  I loved the work I did, I loved knowing that each day what awaited me were challenges I took joy in figuring out, I loved problem shooting and problem solving, I loved sharing that knowledge with my colleagues and the daily interactions.
•   I realised that I was grieving the loss of my youth, I was excited when I turned 40yrs old, but then I began to reflect and wondered what the next half of my life would be like and I couldn’t see anything worthwhile so I tried to hold on to what I had already experienced.  Even though I’ve gotten beyond that point in my life and enjoying being 50 plus it was quite a journey getting here and learning many things about myself along the way and growing in such a way I could never imagined.  I would have never found and loved 50 plus me if I had not learned to let go and live.
• I realise that I was grieving the fact that I no longer had adolescent children, they were grown and independent and found that instead of cutting the apron strings, I was only extending them on each of my beautiful children.  Bless their hearts they have been patient with me and given me time to get to that place of gradually cutting those strings at my own pace.  I am enjoying a wonderful adult relationship with each of them.  Imagine what I would have been missing out on if I had not learned to let go.  I am still a work in progress.
• I realised that I have been grieving the loss of a few friendships, but eventually relinquished the idea of those friendships and held on to the season’s blessings they were in my life. Room was made for greater.
•   I realised that I was grieving the loss of my freedom, yep my freedom. This was a recent occurrence when I lost about 80% of the vision in one of my eyes including peripheral and I was dealing with an illness that practically took away all my independence.  I could not drive, and I had to limit my exposure to regular daily normal life interactions, and it frightened me. With some adjustments to create my new normal of functioning and navigating through it all I am regaining some independence. I realised that all was and is not lost.
•  I have lost some incredibly special people in my life, a few, some time ago and a few most recently and the reality of those losses carried such a weight that at times it just seems as if I would go under and stay under.  I tried to control my grieving process because I felt it, I could not bear the thought of living life without each of them.  I held on to my grief because I felt if I did, I was not ready to accept the reality of them really being gone. I Thought if I didn't hold on to the grief that I would forget them and I was not ready for that.  I tortured myself with what could have and what should have happened. 

The turning point for me really and strangely was the death of my dad.  Losing my dad was the worst thing I have ever experienced in my life and do not wish it on anyone, but such is life.  Losing dad was so indescribable, I realise I could not do it alone, it was surely beyond me and I needed help. I could not hold on to the grief or it would destroy me.  I found such a deliverance through this process of grieving for my dad.  A lot of hidden stuff began to surface that could not be ignored, I had to face them once and for all.  For the first time I reached out to some important people in my life, I opened a door that some of them had never been allowed to walk through,  I remember one of them saying to me – “it is time for you to let folks be there for you, the way you’ve always been there for them, let me be to you what you’ve been to me” they were saying lean on me, I am here for you.  I found a greater bond with some amazing sisters and sister-friends, even brother-friends.

I heard the words let it go again and this time I really listened, and I have been learning to let go.  I realise that in trying to control every aspect of my life, I was taking away my own freedom.

Learning to let go has also been a spiritual journey for me, it has allowed for me to experience the Grace of God in such a powerful lifechanging way. I have experienced a new level of surrendering and embracing what God’s purpose is for my life in the earth.  I realise that there is so much more He requires of me, so much more He has purposed for me and I just have to let go and let God do the work in and through me.  What a liberating feeling that is.  I am not there yet, but I am on an amazing path experiencing an amazing journey in Christ Jesus.  In letting go of my stuff, it allows me to be vulnerable and there is no shame in that. It is not a sign of weakness, but it shows my humanity.

I gained freedom in letting go and I found my identity, in letting go I am finding out more of my purpose, in letting go I am finding my deliverance,  in letting go I am finding God…

Grief is an emotion that will encompass our lives continuously, it will vary considering the circumstances but what matters is how we manage it. 

I have found several ways that helps me to give way to my varying grief scenarios.

1.     Writing/journaling I write what I feel sometimes, and I can share what I write and sometimes it is just for self-therapy.

2.     Singing and listening to music, songs that uplift and tells a story that I can identify with, songs that allows me to worship God while going through the process.

3.     Reading inspirational writings and better yet scriptures and meditating on it.  Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path Ps 119:11 has been so true and relevant to me recently.  When I am low in spirit a scripture comes to mind and I would read and meditate on it and it brings me comfort and clarity; I gives me directions and instructs me accordingly.

4.     Prayer, it is the key _ I have found prayer – talking with God - so vital in my process.  My prayer has become more and more intimate conversations with Him, and I know He is listening because I can feel his presence even when I have no audible words.  Because His Spirit is within me, He knows my heart and understand when I have no words to say (Rom. 8:14-16)

5.     Talking to someone sharing what I feel has helped.  This was a big one for me also, I am good at keeping things bottled up suppressing it until it reaches boiling point. But I have been learning to be open about a lot of things and letting go gives way to being completely honest and transparent with oneself and others.

6.    Tears – in allowing myself to cry it helps to release the pent-up pain, unresolved hurts, and disappointments, alleviates the sorrow that comes with the grief.  (this is still a work in progress for me though) because sometimes I feel once I start to cry the tears will not stop flowing, but they eventually do until another time.  The tears that I cry kind of brings relief and allows the joy to flow from my soul. It feels cleansing and refreshing and it seems to make the weight a little lighter.  I believe that the psychology of humanity affirms that tears is beneficial to a person’s emotional wellbeing and dealing with life’s traumatic experiences. I read recently that “crying is a natural response humans have to a range of emotions, including sadness, grief, joy and frustration; and that emotional tears contains a higher level of stress hormones than other types of tears.”  _{Online Article excerpt from Medical News Today}

But beyond the psychological aspect of it scripture records a time in David’s life when in despair he found comfort in knowing that God did not disregard his tears – Psalms 56:8 NLT You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book. My tears are important to God, He understands every tear drop.    

Letting go to Life’s Seasons

When God created this earth He also designed the seasons, Spring a time of  birthing, newness, and planting; Summer, a time for growth and development while we enjoy what Spring has brought to us it also allows time for the seeds planted in the Spring to grow; Autumn/Fall, when the harvest comes what was planted has now come to maturity, and we reap the joys and fruits that Spring has promised, it also signifies the end of the crops with hopes to plant again so, the crops are harvested and everything changes and becomes lifeless until… Winter  comes and compacts the ground again (in some places snow and ice) which keeps the ground wet and nourished until the new season of Spring comes again and the cycle continues.  What am I saying? there are seasons in our lives and we have to learn to identify with each of  them; Spring lets go to Summer- Summer lets go to Autumn and Autumn lets go to Winter and so on to keep the cycle of life going.  It is the same in our lives, but we tend to want to hold on to what was because of fear, ignorance or whatever not realising we cannot enjoy what is next until we move away from what was.  God can breathe life into anything, any situation because He is life but there are some things He has to remove from our lives and remove us from so that His purpose can be fulfilled in and through us.  In some instance that was my realisation, that I was holding on to some dead stuff in my life which was keeping me from moving into my purpose. Not until I relinquished my hold on those things am I able to experience the fullness of His presence and will in my life.  Letting go is not an easy thing to do, it is a process, but you have to begin from some place and that is what I did.  I made a step, and you know what I am not alone, when I let go, I know that God has still got me.

So, where do I go from here, I keep moving forward, I keep trusting God, I keep leaning into Him because His love and grace sustains me, and I am not alone. I realise that when I let go, I experience the joy of being carried and hidden in God’s secret place, and I am content.

 

Prayer 

 Sovereign God, Faithful Father, thank You

Thou art my hiding place and my shield; I hope in thy word. Ps 119:114 Amen

 

Let it go my friends

Much love Mauricia

 

 

 

Depression Part 2

 "I praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: 

marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well." Psalms 139:14  

Self-worth 

You are treading in dangerous territory when you're thin king that your life does not matter and the world would be better off without you.  This type of thinking invites the darkness closer and keeps the light at bay. The realisation is that the light of hope was and is always there, but when fear and lack of self-esteem and hurt and all the negative stuff begin to invade your mentality - hopelessness creeps in and you opt for the less painful and easier route to end it all of that negative emotion.  

While it is good to ask the question of, "Who am I?",  take care to direct it to the right, the true source.  You're having a difficult time identifying you, but take heart God know who you are and is always waiting ready  to rescue you.  Why do we always wait until we are desperate to reach out, to call out for help? because in our humanity, we believe we control our destiny we are fooled into believing that we don't need anyone else's help; that my friend is a lie from the pit of hell, originated by the enemy of our soul- Satan.

Self-worth is defined by dictionary as the ‘sense of one's own value or worth as a person.’ It is our self- worth that makes up our self- esteem. It is our inner beliefs about our worthiness as individuals that influence our daily life choices, our opinions and our personality. Some of the biggest factors that can influence a person’s self-worth is an awareness of their strengths and weaknesses and personal life experiences. We base our ‘worthiness’ on sometimes unrealistic expectations we place on ourselves as well as the expectations placed upon us by others. Many times, the people emotionally closest to us have the greatest impact on our self-esteem. We internalise, as children, the feedback we receive from those we want to please. Whether this feedback is negative or positive, it helps to form a belief in our minds of our own self-worth. When we learn that we can choose to accept or reject the impressions placed upon us by external factors (other’s opinions, expectations and ideas), only then will we begin to see our own worth.

Becoming aware of your strengths, your capabilities and using them will allow you to build your self- worth. Recognising that we cannot control the expectations of others, but trusting that God loves us no matter what, is apart of shaping our inner beliefs. Knowing what God’s word says about you and believing in HIS love for you is essential to establishing a strong sense of WHO YOU ARE!

Know who you are and Whose you are

"...Darkness and light are alike to You. For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;"   

It is so very important to know who you are to be able to survive in today's society.  It is important to teach our children to be self-confident and aware of themselves enough to understand that when someone thinks a way about them, treats them unfairly, or says something negatively about them it does not define who they are.  It is important to teach them that the only opinion that matters is God's and their own.  This is not achieved overnight but it is a continuous process of affirmation, encouragement, love and some honest to goodness hugs. First and fore-most teach them that God loves them unconditionally. They can't earn nor achieve God's love, it is a gift to them no matter what.  Also, reassure them of your love for them.  

Whether you’re struggling with depression or not, self-worth is an issue with many of us.  What I  personally realised is that I had to stop trying to figure out how I can be enough but focus on the fact that God is enough or rather more than enough for me; all of my plights, and dramas, and inconsistencies, and worries, issues with self-esteem etc.;  if I were to make a decided effort to rely on Him to work in and through me  then I had  nothing to worry about.  “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Phil 4:13

Self -Sabotage

 From the age of 8 years old until in my twenties I was as thin as a rail (the first version of this said, 'big as a rail') I mentioned that to bring a point across about how bad my self-image was. I always felt ugly and fat and unlovable, I never expected anything good and wonderful for myself, getting married was far-fetched, so I thought, and that was how I lived my life. I would close myself off from possible friendships, schoolgirl crushes and I wouldn’t dare to dream or hope to one day find a meaningful relationship and get married and have a family and live happily ever after. 😊😊 Well of course I eventually found love with a man who loved me for me and treated me like I was a queen.

When you’re in that cycle of self-hate as I was, all you could see looking back at you is a fat and unworthy human being. I saw someone who was lost and hurting.  My family was always forcing me to eat, I remember spending hours at the dinner table after everyone had eaten and left, with the demand to stay put until my plate was clean.  Over the years, I got creative and figured out a way to set my food on the plate to make it seem as if I had eaten most of it.  I was afraid to eat because I did not want to get fat.  As a young adult I ate a lot of junk food but knew how to get rid of it before it would settle. Gross right?  In my thinking, it was working - it really wasn't I was naturally skinny I realised later but, I was starving myself, hurting myself.  On my best days I felt awkward and there were times when I even tried to harm myself because I hated myself.

When you're dealing with low self-esteem, low self-confidence, low self-love issues there is a tendency to sabotage oneself. At first it's instinctively done as a result of being in such a low and depressive state, and then it becomes deliberate because you think you've found the answer to your misery.  Mine was what is known today as Anorexia. (check out this link for more information) When I was growing up, this condition was just gaining attention in trying to put a label on it as an illness.  To quote myself, “Depression does not respect background, race, ethnicity, status or character, it does not respect your beliefs or morals. It presents wherever there is a door of happenstance that is left unattended- exposed to the issues and circumstances of life.  It filters in unsuspectingly especially if you are ignorant to its vices and what feeds it.”    A vice, I had fallen victim to but, thankfully I am no longer a victim of this disease; “I give thanks to You (God) for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: Wonderful are Your works, and my soul knows it very well.”  Coming to this realisation, the chains of anorexia fell powerless at my feet; there is no other way I can imagine being delivered other than by the power of Jesus Christ.   

Why this Madness?

The greater part of my self-worth vulnerability stemmed from a cruel act that no one should ever have to suffer.  As a young girl I was sexually molested and then again as a young adult I was sexually harassed and molested. Wow! Am I really putting this out there? As we go through life, we look at individuals and make assumptions about who they are and pass judgement on how they live their lives or on their decisions most times cruelly and less times with a little grace. I learned a long time ago to never judge a book by its cover, to consider the reasoning behind a person's actions.  I know all too well that what we experience in our lives dictates how we live it. I kept this secret from my family through my adolescent and teenage years and only revealed the truth first to my husband and then to my mom and eventually my children and siblings. I believe that once I shared this truth with them, they came to a level of understanding the 'why' and 'what' parts of my temperament.  My children I hope then understood why I tried to protect them the way that I did, and how they were raised; and that my siblings understood that I really wasn't crazy 😅 just hurting, and that my mom got a ‘better understanding’ of what had affected the child and teenager I was,  being raised and loved together with her other six children.  At times I know it seemed what she did was never enough or right for me. My husband lovingly embraced me and still loved me unconditionally with all my scars and baggage. My healing had begun.

Healing

When I revealed my ugly secret, there was no judgement just love and understanding. I think I eventually told my mom on a separate occasion who the perpetrators were eventually, initially that was not my objective, but for me it was time to let it go for my own survival. I realised that it didn't change how they loved me but what did change was how I viewed myself from their perspective. I always felt I wasn't good enough and was always trying to prove it somehow. I felt I was always being judged then I came to realise that the judgement was always mine that I projected to anyone who may have tried to get close to me. As the weight of this secret began to lighten, and I allowed the Holy Spirit to His work I began to see myself as God saw me and sees me now. I got my smile back and I walked a bit taller I began to believe that I was worth the effort of being loved. Miracle of all miracles, I began the process of really loving myself (not faking it) and the healing was evident in my interactions and my confidence level and my relationship with God and my family. I accepted that He loved me, I was unique and gifted and called by Him; I have purpose and I intended to live that purpose out step by step, day by day, with the realisation that I was not alone and I would never be. It is one thing to say you believe in God and receive salvation and another to truly accept what He offers us: unconditional love, forgiveness, life and peace and joy and HOPE.

My healing to knowing and understanding my worth as an individual was quite a journey, my process was hard work and a daily commitment to God and myself. Earlier in my marriage I did struggle a bit learning to navigate having a constant companion who was supportive, consistently expressing love and admiration. When our children came along the focus of love and acceptance expanded because it was my responsibility to give them what I craved as a child, they would know that they are loved and cherished every day. I champion my husband and children in all their efforts intentionally. 

Affirmation goes a long way in maintaining a child's well-being emotionally and mentally. Even though as a child, I did not receive this particular attention verbally, I was eventually able to voice how I felt to my family and now I can honestly say that there is now a better understanding of how I tick, and that's okay. I have the support and love of my family who are also my greatest cheerleaders. 

The Journey Continues

My struggle with self-worth, has been a journey process of learning to love myself to see what God sees in me. “I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” God knows my name, my character, He knows my inward parts, He values me, He created me in His own image and calls me His own. He understands my nuances and eccentricities that sets me apart from anyone else, He values me because He gave His only begotten son to come and rescue me from sin and death, and He gives me eternal life and He made a promise to me that He would never leave me alone and that He has gone back to His father to prepare a place for me, and He also intercedes for me to His father, so I am a priority to Him and that feeds my self-worth, and that’s enough for me. I believe what God says of me!

Had I not come to a place of loving me and become comfortable and happy in my own skin inclusive of all my flaws, I would have not been able to receive the affirmations I so desperately craved as a child. If God can love me unconditionally with all my quirks, and hang ups and imperfections, why can't I love myself, I am worth it. We can find a fault with some part of our body that we would change if we could, but hey it is our flaws that help to make us unique, one of a kind. The reality check is, you are who you are if there is something you can change, then do it. I am reminded that God's grace and mercy extended allows me to become better every day, the phrase today is to be a better version of yourself - but I stand to differ, not a better version which signifies it's not the real me; but I try to be a better me, try to be a better you by the grace of God.

I have been applying to my life an advice I have had to reiterate to my son on several occasions, is that we exhaust ourselves trying to perfect every aspect of our lives, instead we should try to live and perform with excellence and perfection is the end result or the reward. When Christ lives within us the spirit of excellence is present it just must be motivated and nurtured. Our intent should always be to serve God with excellence, serve our fellowmen with excellence and continue to press forward; perfection is attainable, but through Jesus Christ. I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Let us love therefore, as many as are perfect, have this attitude; and if in anything you have a different attitude, God will reveal that also to you; however, let us keep living by that same standard to which we have attained.” Phil 3:14-16.

It is a daily effort on my part to survive and thrive beyond my fears, seeing and acknowledging my self-worth and living in the light of God's love for me. I was shackled by Fear and the lack of self-worth, I am now delivered and of course the enemy returns again and again to deter me, but I don't carry the weight of it any longer - Jesus is my deliverer.

Here are a few of my favourite things to keep me on track

• Remember to love yourself everyday
• Focus on scriptures that reminds you of who you are to God.
• It’s a process, forgive yourself and
• Extend yourself some grace, (my big sister taught me how to do that)
• Ever so often treat yourself to something special that pleases you
• Try not to take yourself so seriously (I'm still working on this one)
• Laughter is good

Prayer

Abba Father, thank you for loving us unconditionally; thank you for the light of Your salvation that shines in and through us as your children, thank You for joy and peace. Thank You for the healing You've  begun in us, we trust Your word which reminds us that You will bring to completion the work You've begun in each of us for Your glory and our wholeness.  Help us to always be aware of Your presence around us reminding us that we belong to you. In Jesus name Amen!

Who Am I 

Love and Blessings
Mauricia

DEPRESSION Part 1

The Darkness effects

The darkness comes and absorbs all the light, it gradually backs you into a corner, it backs you up against a wall and it can be so dense that you can’t even imagine yourself in a different space, in a different time, where the light shines again.

Breathlessness comes, when the darkness overshadows every waking moment and you feel as if you are suffocating or drowning and you are gasping for air, just a little bit of air to take you into the next moment.

No one who commits suicide really wants to die, it’s the now solution to what they are experiencing, wanting the pain and hurt to end, wanting not to feel the hopelessness, not wanting to be in the deafening silence and or the darkness that seem to draw tighter around you with every trigger of sadness, worthlessness, indignity, fear, inadequacies, disappointment, shame or regret…  

Depression does not respect background, race, ethnicity, status or character, it does not respect your beliefs or morals. It presents wherever there is a door of happenstance that is left unattended- exposed to the issues and circumstances of life.  It filters in unsuspectingly especially if you are ignorant to its vices and what feeds it.   Culturally, depression carries with it, a shame and intolerance because we were taught that ‘life happens’, ‘don’t complain, just suck up whatever is wrong and get on with it’. Thankfully, conversations have begun, and a name and diagnosis has been tagged to the constant darkness and hopelessness felt – Depression.

The word is still being whispered in undertones but nonetheless there are now avenues available to find help and hope for wellness.  What may shock many of you is the above is from the perspective from an individual with a strong Christian (not religious) foundation.  Someone who trusts and believes God is a very present help in trouble times and that His grace is boundless and enough.  What we forget when Christianity factors in is that we never stop being human.  Christianity and humanity must coexist if we are going to survive life, if we are going to live our best lives while navigating through the hurts, stresses, chaos, pain, loss etc.  that life throws at us. It's about surviving and thriving and finding a way to do it successfully.

There are many debilitating factors that opens the door to depression but just to list a few and elaborate a bit on each and who knows where this conversation will take us. 
   

1.  Fear
2. Self-worth
   
3. Hurt
4. Loss
5. Stress

Transparency and honesty are important in trying to reach the affected masses, so bear with me as I continue to share the story of my journey to healing and wholeness. Yes, the foregoing is not from any massive psychological research but from my own personal experiences.  I begin with fear one of my greater nemesis.

1. Fear

Like any human being, self-preservation was an instinct that I developed very early as a child. Whatever my capabilities were at the time, I used it to protect me whether it was by telling a lie, getting into fist fight or by withdrawing and shutting down, that’s what I did to survive.  And as we now know today, yes children do experience depression. I am still not certain were a lot of my fear stemmed from but, they were legitimate to me.   Here is where we make the big mistake oftentimes, validating the feelings being experienced by the individual.  There may not be a reasoning behind it, but the feelings are real and back then those feeling were dismissed as being a nuisance. 

My fears stretched from being in the dark, to being alone, not being good enough, not being loveable, being singled out, strangers (like really?), having my head under water, bugs, dying, thunder and lightning, creepy crawly creatures, and of the unknown- I can list a few more but just to give you an idea. 

I grew up in a very large family inclusive of my extended family, and I guess I know I was loved but this wasn’t something that you heard every day, that’s not how it was done back then.  In a family the consensus was that you were loved and that was that.  In my nuclear family, very early in my life I noticed that I was different from my siblings, I felt things deeper I was more sensitive, whether it was about something good or bad and that frightened me to experience things so deeply and not understand it.  Even though I had a fear about strangers/meeting new people, If I sensed a connection it was easier for me to approach and have a conversation with that individual.  So, the few friends I had, basically sought me out for whatever reason. Again, these are now realisations ‘hindsight is 20/20 vision’ 😉. 

The dangers of fear are that they can be socially crippling, and emotionally and mentally debilitating.  Because of the many fears I had, I always shrunk away from things that would place the spotlight on me.  I did not want to be seen as a freak; I was not going to intentionally put myself out there to be ridiculed because of my fear.  I remember in elementary school we went on a field trip on a glass bottom boat, I could not enjoy the experience because I was afraid of being underwater and of close spaces.  No one knew this because I hid it and stayed on deck or wherever was not below – I had tucked away the memory of that experience. I was never a fan of amusement parks for the mere fact that you would be expected to go on the rides and yes, I was afraid of being up too high.  I think I was always fighting to keep control of my immediate surroundings and how I navigated through it.

There is no fear in love

‘There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment.  He that feareth is not made perfect in love.” 1 John 4:18

I accepted Jesus as my personal Saviour at an early age, but I still had not really grasped the depth of God’s love for me. Throughout my Christian journey I have dealt with underlying fearful anxieties. It does not mean that my salvation was not complete but just that my process to wholeness has been my life lesson and my journey continues today.   But I now have a better understanding of God’s love for me. As my relationship with God grew intimately through prayer and meditation, meditating on His word and learning to truly trust Him, I have been able to relinquish my fears and have joy.  No, I am not 100% fearless my journey continues as I face new challenges and life realities, but I understand and I do not walk alone and that because Christ lives in me, His Spirit crushes fear and replaces it with peace and love and contentment.  I have not yet attained but I press forward because “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” 2 Tim 1:7

Prayer:
Abba, Father, thank you for loving us unconditionally and by sending your son Jesus to redeem us from the sin and bring us back into fellowship with you.  Thank you for each reader today, I ask that you meet them at their place of need and desperation and bring wholeness and deliverance to them, may we all find peace and be an example of your love and today and always. In Jesus precious name Amen.

I invite you to join this conversation or if you would like to conversated outside of this posting, feel free to drop me an email, I would be happy to hear from you.  We are all on a journey and a story to tell, what's yours?  Util next time - Part 2 will continue on this topic of depression.

Love and Blessings 
Mauricia