I trust that 2021 is going well for you... by this time we have all gotten into the groove of this year's goals and anticipations and I wish you well and pray for good success for us all as we continue to navigate through these uncertain times.
"Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and He will establish your plans." Proverbs 16:3NIV
It's not that I've never lost anyone close to me before but at this stage in my life my dad and these two ladies were such an integral part of my life. When they passed I thought I would cease to be, I felt lost and a part of me was gone. I've managed to process a lot of it, but grieving is a process. For me, I experience grief in waves. When the loss comes back fresh and the tears flow, I thank God that I am not consumed by it. If anything, it brings me closer to being okay. I am thankful to God for every day and all the blessings I have been able to enjoy. I am also grateful for the not-so-great moments of my life it was during those times I found refuge in Him literally. I have experienced and encountered God in new and amazing ways particularly in the last two years.
But there is one thing that I have struggled with this past year and I've only now dared to verbalise and acknowledge it – allowing myself to express all the emotions while being thankful for life... my life particularly. I've been feeling so guilty about that expression of gratefulness for life because when I do, I remember my dad and my two friends who are no longer here It sounds silly, I know, but that has been another part of my grieving process. I am here and they are not.
These dear individuals were making such a great impact on the lives of those around them and I felt like the world was cheated, that I was cheated when they died. I felt all the unfairness of life but who said that life was fair? I felt the loss of their lives selfishly as if they only mattered to me. Thank God for grace because in all of life's unfairness grace abounds and purpose sets things in perspective. It clarifies relevance to what evades our broken hearts and the sadness that goes along with it.
In our
humanity we will have shortcomings and misgivings about our circumstances but
let us not allow the difficult circumstances of life define who we are nor who
we will become. Let us allow it to
help us to grow and to educate us. It is important to keep the focus where
there are benefits and the benefits are set in the process not just in those
moments which have the potential to cripple and stagnate us. Yes! life
seems unfair and we question God about circumstances and the outcomes, but very
seldom do we ask God what it is He requires when He has our attention. We
rarely ask about the lesson He's
teaching in the circumstance. Something we need to ask more for is that God
would give us grace to go through our trials and circumstances and not to just
solve it or take it away from us- of course He can do it. Know that the
journey, the process is worth it, the battle scars are honourable to God, the
battle scars are our Ebenezer testimonials of His grace, mercies, and
deliverance. So, I dare you to not ask for the mountains to be removed but
ask for the strength to climb and overcome it. That is your witness, bear your
cross with dignity and grace hold your head high... God goes before us and
walks beside us, we are not alone...
"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire, you no be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.
For I am the Lord your God,..." Isaiah 43:1c-3a
While you go through your process consider this question, "Is He truly my God, have I accepted Him as my personal Saviour?" If not, this is a great place to pause and say, "Lord Jesus, I accept you now as my personal Saviour, I cannot do this alone so I surrender everything to you now today I am made new in You. Amen." Praise the Lord! Welcome into the family of God.
We have no
say in the matter of God loving us, so know that His love is unfailing, and His
strength is perfect He has given us everything we need to go through our
individual journeys, our processes. He does all things well, walk in your God
purpose He has already forgiven all your shortcomings, I know He has forgiven
me all mine and I am thankful for life; I am thankful to be alive and that I am
able to share my heart with you today.
Prayer:
Sovereign God, Faithful Father and
Friend thank You for life full of grace, thank you for loving us, thank you for peace
and comfort, thank You for strength, may Your will be done in our lives today
and may we be light in this dark world honouring You always. In Jesus name
Amen.
My journey continues,
Much love & blessings
Mauricia
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