I believe I have the best nieces and nephews in the world. They are kind and respectful, they are intelligent and independent, outside of them being intelligent they are very intellectual. I love hanging out with them and having light and meaningful conversations with them. The best part about it is that, as I say to them always, my conversations, my advice and consuls are no less than what I would have with my own children. I find that I always take something away from our convos to contemplate on which brings me to the topic of this post.
Perspective: a mental view of prospect; the interrelation in
which a subject or its parts are mentally viewed or point or view; the capacity to view things in their true relations or relative mportance.
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diagram from metro.co.uk |
A much younger version of myself really did sing and I loved it. Trying not to sound boastful, I was a soloist, a song/worship leader carrying soprano to tenor and sometimes alto. Being able to sing I believe was an unexpected gift and I embraced it for what it was, ‘a gift from God.’ In my late twenty’s early thirties, I remember discarding this gift from God, because of my distorted perspective at the time. My perspective became clouded causing disappointment and eventually walking away from a means that God had given me to share his truth and bring comfort to others while honouring him. I loved singing and even wrote a few songs and attempted to set them to music. I even played the keyboard yes, I did, and I read a little music- more about this later. The truth of my gift became a bit distorted and a ploy by Satan to kill all the potential that was wrapped up in the gift of music.
Before every performance/ministering session I always prayed asking God to use me and let the message of every song be heard loud and clear. I enjoyed it but I dreaded the attention it brought to me and I began to dread performances. The last concert I remember participating in was a great success, largely attended and the audience was engaged and having a grand time. So, what was my problem? I also took notice that they were praising me a whole lot and that made me uncomfortable and afraid.
As I shared my reasons with my nephew and niece they listened intently, and this is the wisdom of what they ventured to share with me:
"Not everyone will react or respond in the same way, and it does not mean you are doing anything wrong. Some might have been carried away by you and your voice but there were others who were indeed enjoying the message and music. To some it may have been a performance and to others it was ministry."
To be able to play a musical instrument was always a dream of mine and as a teenager I got that opportunity through my church music department. I was well on my way to achieving my dream to play. I attended music class at our church and my music teacher was the incomparable Rev. Dr Conrad Howell, at the time he was just Bro. Conrad, or Bro. C. He is now deceased, and I pause to pay homage to him and his gift of music.
I was learning the piano and I loved it, I worked hard at it and embraced every opportunity to become good at playing. I did not have a keyboard at home to practice on, so I devised a plan, and it was working well for a while. With permission I would go down to the church early enough before each weeknight service and practice on the church’s keyboard. Thankfully for me we had service from Monday to Friday (and practice or Dorcas Club on Saturdays) so that worked out very well for me. During my private practice sessions sometimes, I would have an audience of one (Bishop James who was Pastor then). He would always encourage me, and he would call out hymns from the hymn book for me to try. One of his favourites was Hand in Hand with Jesus. This went on for a while, I never told anyone, not even my family. Maybe they figured I was very enthusiastic about going to church, yes, I was but the motivation to get there so early was so that I could put in some practice time.
I remember winning an award for my diligence in music and Mr. Howell thought I had great potential. Sadly, that came to a halt and I know that he was disappointed in my decision to quit, and so was I. I made the decision to quit because I was angry and hurt and ashamed all due to the opinion and false accusation of one solitary individual who sought to discourage and kill my sincere efforts. One fateful day my dad confronted me about a rumour he heard about me using disguise of church attendance and practise to meet up with boys. To say the least he was furious and unhappy and even though I kind of explained myself, my dad of course being who he was, his intention was to keep the peace and avoid any contention, my permission was revoked from the early trek to the church on weeknights and attend when the rest of my family attended to avoid any more discord or hearsay. My practice time was confined to the allotted practice time with the regular music class sessions. My dad did not say I was not allowed to play or attend the classes anymore, even though that is what I heard at the time because I felt betrayed by the instigator.
Your perspective will either enlighten you or it will cloud your judgment. For a while I allowed my perspective to cheat me of fulfilling a call and embracing wonderful gifting. If your perspective is fuelled by another person’s opinion or lack of insight, you will always miss out on some great advances and opportunities. When you change that functionality, you will then be able to operate with confidence at the fullest potential God has placed within you.
Not pursuing the art of music is a regret I choose not to linger on, there is still an opportunity to take it up again, and I can report that I lift my crackling voice making a joyful noise to the Lord, and sometimes I do hit the right notes.
How far short we are of such a criterion — our mournful experience can testify. But it is at least comforting to know that there is a day coming, when, in the full vision and fruition of the Glorious Original, the exhortation of our motto-verse will be needed no more; when we shall be able to say, in the words of an inspired apostle — "We have the MIND OF CHRIST!"
"Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus." (Phil 2:5) "I am meek and lowly in heart." — Matthew 11:29. In great minds, there is often a beautiful blending of majesty and humility, magnanimity and lowliness. The mightiest and holiest of all Beings that ever trod our world — was the meekest of all. ww.gracegems.org/MacDuff/Mind_of_Jesus.htm
Prayer:
Sovereign God, Faithful Father and Friend, thank you for Your forgiveness and love
every day. Help us to grow in You with
the mind of Christ walking in obedience to Your word and spreading the light of
Your salvation to all. In Jesus name Amen.
Love
and Blessings
Mauricia
